MY father, the pineapple

I want to give a shout out to my dad, one of the meanest, crustiest, but most loving guys I know. My dad is like a pineapple -- tough and a little prickly on the outside; soft, sweet, and "golden" on the inside. OK, now, no eye rolling here... I'm serious! Harlan = pineapple.

Think about it. He has kind of a tough, gruff exterior -- to some, he's unapproachable and kind of scary. But get to know him, and you'll see a very different kind of person. It's those who really know him, who get a glimpse of the "real" guy, who have no doubt that he's a softie -- not in a pushover kind of way or anything, but in a way that affirms that if you are in trouble or need something, he'll be there for you no matter what. He's got a heart of gold. His TRUE friends -- and they know who they are -- know the goodness and kindness of that man.

So I'm going to backtrack a little -- like back to high school. My dad was the crankiest, toughest, meanest dad around. He had a super-spy network comparable to none. He always knew where we were, who we were with, how many times we'd cruised main and with whom we cruised. He knew if we were holding hands with a boy or cutting class and tanning on the football field with friends. It was uncanny! And a little spooky. People (and by people, I mean my friends / boyfriends) feared him. I remember thinking on more than one occasion that he was just unhappy and out to make the rest of us equally so. But then I caught a glimpse of the "gold" one evening, one of many I was grounded, when dad spent the evening hanging out with me playing on the piano / organ and talking with me. Frankly, at the time, I'd have much rather been with my friends and didn't think hanging out with dad was a good alternative, but in hindsight, that time was a gift to me. He could have been doing anything, but he spent his evening with me. And then when a brother called to see if he could move the party to our house, dad agreed and told me I could join in on the fun.

I didn't really understand my dad when I lived at home but I was a teenager then and like many teenagers, I may have been a bit narcissistic (I said I MAY have been a BIT narcissistic, just a little, the other kids were WAAAAAYYY worse). I knew dad was tough -- when he said be home at 10pm, he meant it. I learned that lesson the hard way, more than once -- 5 minutes late meant "you are grounded young lady" and I just thought that was tough, tight, unfair, whatever. He said what he meant and he meant what he said -- we knew the rules and knew that breaking them had consequences. Now that I'm an adult with my own teen, I understand the need for structure and rules and I understand from where he was coming. It wasn't from a place of meanness or anger or "I'm out to ruin your life", but a place of love and concern and maybe even fear.

I knew he was a hard working man who felt it was important to provide for his family (extended and friends included). And I knew that babies and animals adored him (well, except for skunks and muskrats) and he adored them (again, not the skunks and muskrats). He was very passionate about his interests and wanted to get us involved in the things he enjoyed. He was always determined and driven with goals. He loved to tell jokes and had a quirky, quick sense of humor. Those things were obvious albeit not always appreciated or acknowledged. HELLO! I said I was a teenager at the time!

It wasn't until I had my own kids that I really started to understand the parent who was my dad. He always loved me. He was my dad. He didn't have a choice -- he had to love me. But just how much, I couldn't even have guessed until I had my own kids. As a parent, I began to experience the weight of responsibility and fear associated with parenting all mixed together with immeasurable love and pride and happiness. It's a bit overwhelming at times, I must say.

You have this child and suddenly a piece of your heart is walking around. They're talking, growing up and all you want to do is provide, teach, shelter, protect and help that little person who is part of you grow up happy and successful. So much of life is out of my control. And it's scary, almost paralyzing sometimes, especially when you see that little person -- your little heart -- making silly choices or dangerous decisions.

My dad made it through life with six kids -- six TEENS! We all survived and so did my dad. He's a good man. He's a funny man. He's a loving, kind man. I've always considered myself a good judge of character and for what it's worth, I'll tell you, my dad is a pineapple through and through. I love you dad. Happy Father's Day!